Tag Archives: Vouched Atlanta

Best Thing I’ve Heard This Week – Trains, Brains & Auto-Erotica: An Oral History of the Dingbats

23 Sep

The Dingbats may not be a real band, but Myke Johns really brings their history to full life – with  and with these readings from Nicholas Teckosy, Bobbin Wages, Adam Lowe, Myke Johns himself and Jeremy Maxwell they really come to life. The whole thing can be read in the latest issue of Deer Bear Wolf, but this performance is completely charming to the ear.

And if that tickles your fancy: in addition to his own written achievements and efforts with Write Club Atlanta, Myke Johns puts a lot of effort showcasing and championing the efforts of Atlanta’s literary scene through his podcast, LitCast, at WABE 90.1. There’s a bevy of goodness to be heard. (We Atlantans really owe Myke a lot – so much heartfelt effort goes into these recordings.)

A Very [Second] Vouched Birthday F.A.Q.

8 Jul

After blitzing the internet with Single Sentence Reviews, Raffle Prize Announcements, and other promotional things for about a month, I realize you may have some questions about the upcoming Vouched ATL festivities. So here’s our second ever Vouched Presents FAQ for our second ever birthday.

When does this shin-dig start?  
7pm, approximately. I estimate readings to begin between 7:15 and 7:30.

Is there a cost for admission?

Yes, this year it will cost $5 to get you into the Vouched Birthday party BUT your $5 gets you an automatic raffle ticket for some our our fabulous prizes! Every additional $5 you spend at the birthday party (on posters, Vouched merchandise or Wren’s Nest Merchandise) gets you an additional raffle ticket!

What are the totally sweet raffle prizes? 

Oh, you want a list? Fine. Here you go:

• Ticket vouchers for you and a friend to Dad’s Garage
• A Wren’s Nest gift pack and personal tour of the house museum for you and friends!
• Ticket vouchers for Atlanta Movie Tours
• Tickets to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra
• A family membership to MOCA GA
• A membership to the High Museum!
• The ultimate gift package from the Inman Park Squirrel Census!
• Vouched Books gift pack!
• A year-long membership to Wonderroot!

How do I win those totally sweet raffle prizes?

Great question! Participants in our raffle will receive 1 raffle ticket for every $5 donated or spent on Wren’s Nest Publishing Co., or Vouched merchandise. (So say, for instance, you buy a book from me that costs $10. For that you will receive not only your book, but 2 raffle tickets! Which could win you all sorts of amazing prizes!)

I heard there’s a silent auction too. What the dealy-yo?

BURNAWAY is sponsoring the Birthday party by curating and organizing a silent auction of literary-centric artwork throughout the evening. It’s gorgeous stuff! You should be excited!

And this commemorative 2nd birthday poster, what’s up with that?

To celebrate the second birthday of Vouched Books in Atlanta the über talented Lacey Valentini designed a commemorative 2 year birthday poster that will be printed by Brett Andrew Miotti. A limited number will be for sale at the festivities for $25. The design is a combination of every poster Lacey has designed for the reading series since it launched in July 2011. If you’ve read for Vouched Presents in Atlanta before check it out, your name is on it! Pre-order your copy here.

2nd Birthday poster

Wait, so who is reading?

Matt Bell and Blake Butler will be reading original works later in the evening (starting at around 8:30p or so). But before that 20 Atlantan authors will be reading the work of the Wren’s Nest Kipp Scribes. Those readers include:

Rachael Maddux
Johnny Drago
Julian Modugno
Scott Daughtridge
Sue Gilman
Patrick Shaffner
Jessie Matheson
Terra McVoy
Thomas Wheatley
Jason Mallory
Jamie Allen
Myke Johns
Jayne O’Connor
Brooke Hatfield
Lain Shakespeare
Bruce Covey
Amy Herschleb
Molly Dickinson
Amelia Lerner
Amy McDaniel

Where do my donations go?

All donations will go to the Wren’s Nest Publishing Co.

Where can I learn more about the Wren’s Nest Publishing Co.?  

You can learn more about the Wren’s Nest Publshing Co. here!

What if I get hungry? Sometimes I get hungry! 

I hope you get hungry! Engorge yourself with food from The Good Food Truck, popsicles from the King of Pops, and sweets from Marmalade Bake Shop!

What’s the Goatfarm, are there goats?

In their own words: The Goat Farm Arts Center is a major visual & performing arts center in Atlanta. What was once an underutilized historic site went through a major expansion and was given new form in 2009. Part of the expansion opened up 20,000 square feet dedicated to five new performance and exhibition halls and spaces. The Center now hosts classical & contemporary music concerts, traditional and experimental theatrical performances, film screenings, contemporary dance performances and art exhibitions.

And yes, there are still real-life goats! There is no longer a turkey. (R.I.P. Kingsley.)

The poster has a lot of balloons. Will there be balloons?

Yes, there will be balloons. There will not be bears.

Are we going to party? Really?

Yes. DUH.

Artlantis is this Saturday!

31 May

Tomorrow VouchedATL will be setting up at the ARTLANTIS FESTIVAL! This year we’ll be in booth 22 with Hyde Atlanta. Here’s a handy map for you to find us with:



Things you can anticipate in our booth:

• Fun

• Lemonade

• New titles galore! (from places like Featherproof, Octopus, Artifice, and more!)

• Myself & Jayne O’Connor

• Impromptu readings from Atlanta-area authors throughout the day!

Hope to see you there! Read more about the fun-filled fest at their facebook page.


Loose Change Magazine wants to go to print!

14 May

With the closures of some of our favorite publishers and literary journals over the past few months, I think it’s important we keep our chin up and focus on some new and exciting developments that are being made with other journals. Tyler brought our attention to the good stuff at Matter Monthly last week. Now I’d like to draw your attention to our friends at Loose Change Magazine.


Loose Change is ascending! In March they released a new website and their third volume and threw a party to celebrate. Now they’re in the process of raising funds to release their first ever print issue! Read all about it their power2give fundraiser page.

Awful Interview: Jayne O’Connor

17 Apr

Jayne Says

Behold, Jayne O’Connor! You may recognize her lovely face from HYDEATL, the organization VouchedATL co-organizes the Holiday Hangover with. She’s a real treat, this one.

Jayne is a mover and a shaker here in Atlanta. She’s constantly in motion – like a shark! She’s in charge of things! For instance: the Music Room’s monthly variety show The Show from Below. Jayne’s first collection of work, When You Meet the Devil Tip Your Hat, will be published by Safety Third Enterprises this year. TONIGHT she will be reading with John Carroll, Gina Myers, Cristen Conger, and Winston Blake Wheeler Ward at the Goatfarm.

So, Jayne… what’s it like to be famous?

People are constantly coming up to me and saying things like,“Hey!!!! You didn’t pay for that!!!”
“My name is Todd. Welcome to Applebee’s. I’ll be your waiter.”
Or, “Didn’t  you vomit in my car the other day?”

I always tell them,”Look, deep down,  I’m just a normal person like some of you. I just want to be treated like everyone else, only slightly better.”

I kid.

Depending on how you look at it I would either be the best famous person or the worst. I fall down all the time. I fell just sitting on the couch watching TV the other day and now I have a black eye. Do you know how much money pictures of celebrities falling go for? I would be a paparazzi goldmine. Plus, my driving makes Amanda Bynes look like Danica Patrick, and I definitely would have some Lindsay Lohan/shaved-head-Britney Spears/Mariah Carey-Total Request Live- type of  meltdown, if I haven’t already just  as a semi-par citizen.

My friend asked me once if I would rather be rich or famous. At the time I chose fame because I had ideas about being influential and making a mark on the world.  After seeing Behind the Music i am terrified of fame, and I figure that even if I was Trump-rich (he’s still rich right?), with my poor fashion sense and low standard of living I could always pass for someone with a normal or poor pay grade. I could avoid all the pitfalls of being incredibly wealthy while still reaping all of the benefits.

And I am also terrified of becoming a meme one day.

Oh! Double question. 1. Which meme already in existence best ‘gets’ you and 2. If you were Trump-rich when he was richest rich, what would you do with all of them fat stacks?

I am going to answer the second question first.
This question sent me into a labyrinth of fantasies. I wish I could say that I would be totally responsible, invest, or at least save it but that is a lie. I would spend some time throwing it in the air and dancing under it, but mostly I would just buy crap. I have a deep seeded love for spending money and a high propensity for decadence.  I wouldn’t buy a lavish house or car (remember- low standard of living) but I would spend weeks or months at a spa. I would pay people to do all of the menial activities I loath, invest heavily in my eccentricities, and probably get into some functional form of animal hoarding. Maybe for a day I would pay a band to follow me around and turn my life into a musical
And a pool. Summers in Atlanta are brutal.

That brings me to the answer to question number one…

Brilliant! What songs would be needed for the band’s repertoire as they follow you around? You know, your life soundtrack? Five songs at least with explanations, plz!

I think they probably would go:

“No No No (Pressin’ The Snooze Again)” To be played while I fight with my alarm in the morning.

“What Yo Got? (Gross Gross)” To be sung while my dog eats a sock, panites, pants, or any number of disgusting and unspeakable objects from the bathroom trash can.

“It Ain’t Fucking Romeo and Juliet” to be played whenever I am around my ambivalent boyfriend. (This is a Dance Number)

“This Again.” To be played at work.

“Ewwww. What Did I Just Touch?” Self explanatory.

“This Again. (Reprize)” To be played as I ride home in traffic.

Obviously “This Again” is the big hit- but “No No No” is the fan favorite.

 All great choices and all have especially confrontational titles. Do you consider yourself confrontational?

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY!!!! *pounds chest.

Yeah, I probably am. Unlike nineteen year old Jayne, I am not proud of it.

Why not?

Well, I think that a lot of the time it makes people look bad. Plus fighting feels bad and bad things can  happen. You never know who you are dealing with and how quickly things can go crazy.

At a bar in my younger years someone tried to put a cigarette out in my eye after I confronted him about his lewd hand/mouth gesture. True Story.

What did you do? Do you flash back to that moment every time you smoke a cigarette?

I repulsed him with my superhuman jumping and screaming skills and knocked his hand away. Then I told some sexest bouncer who did nothing.
I don’t really think about it that much. If anything flashes back to that moment it is probably when I see that lewd gesture.

What will you do if someone makes that lewd gesture at you during the reading on the 17th?

I know quite a few lewd gestures myself. If that doesn’t work I’m a big proponent of public shaming.

Awful Interview: Cristen Conger

11 Apr

Cristen Conger

To the left you will see the beautiful and accomplished woman known as Cristen Conger. You can tell from this picture that she is full of joy and a very talented baker (I am actually not certain of the later of these two facts, but am using context clues i.e: the super fancy standing mixer she’s embracing.)

Cristen is impressive. Not only is she the the co-host of podcast Stuff Mom Never Told You and the hostess of the YouTube series of the same name, she’s also a staff writer for HowStuffWorks.com. Outside of knowing lots of things, her work has been featured in Jezebel, Bitch, MSNBC, and other places. In short: Cristen Conger is an authority figure on your life! Yes, yours!

Cristen, you’re the brains behind “Stuff Mom Never Told You.” So, I have to ask… Why didn’t she tell me?

Mom is a tad passive aggressive and was relying on me to tell you because she prefers to make her communication as indirect as possible — as in via her daughter, through a podcast, into iTunes and into your not-so-delicate ears. And mom never actually told me that; I had to infer it from years of her talking about how much she wished she had a daughter who co-hosted a podcast.

It’s just hard to figure out what her prerogative is here, you know? I mean… hasn’t she seen the movie Psycho? Mommie Dearest? or more recently Mother?

I know, right? Let’s just say that you won’t find any wire hangers in my closet.

What is in your closet?

Skeletons — and lots of them!

Kidding, kidding. I keep those under my bed, of course. Seriously, why would anyone keep skeletons in his or her closet rather than tucked away under a box spring or couch? Otherwise, every time I got dressed in the morning I’d have to look in at said skeletons, which would really screw the pooch on the whole repressive function of those skeletons.

I do, however, have a treasure box of sorts in my closet containing all of my childhood and teenage diaries, commemorative issues of People magazine from Princess Diana’s funeral (for the pics of Prince William, natch) and rolls of undeveloped film that I should probably get around to developing sometime before it’s too late.

It’s creepy to imagine catacombs under your bed, Cristen. Although – I’ll admit, I wouldn’t want skeletons popping out at me at every wardrobe change, especially on those days where nothing fits right and I end up changing seven times.
Do you read a lot of Edgar Allen Poe, then?

At the risk of sounding like a literary hillbilly, I don’t. I did, however, get an A on my high school paper on “A Cask of Amontillado.”

Your question also reminds me of an NPR story I heard about someone who mysteriously visits Poe’s grave in Baltimore every year on his birthday and leaves gifts of cognac and whatnot. Now, call me an alcoholic, but doesn’t that sound like a terrible waste of perfectly good liquor? On second thought, please don’t call me an alcoholic.

No, I totally agree that is a waste of liquor. Was Poe even known for his drinking? I mean — it wouldn’t phase me to leave a bottle of rum or whiskey at Hemingway’s place of eternal rest. But Poe?

If I were to leave a gift for Poe, it would be a raven pinata filled with candy that I would burst upon reaching the grave so that I could take the candy home and eat it. I’m as thrifty with candy as I am with cognac.

Or I might just leave behind that “Cask of Amontillado” high school paper to create a buzz among other visitors who’d be impressed with my piercing literary analysis. “Poe who?! That Conger girl could write circles around that guy,” they might tweet, or Facebook status update, or caption on a Pinterest pin of picture of the decapitated raven pinata they happened upon at Poe’s tombstone.

Maybe I should ditch the podcast and go into viral marketing…

Maybe you should ditch the podcast and go on a year-long pilgrimage to literary legend’s gravesites to upstage them after they’ve departed. What do you think of that? Who else would you hit up aside from Poe?

I think that you might’ve just outlined my path to instant notoriety, so thank you. Writing one’s way to recognition can be extremely time-consuming, and this is likely a much quicker way to get my name in the history books. Or at least in the books of People Banned From Graveyards that graveyard bouncers keep on hand.

Next up, I’d probably hit up the Bronte sisters resting places since they’ve held such a Corleone-esque monopoly on the whole “women writer” thing. Or Mario Puzo’s grave where I’d leave behind a copy of my Godfather-fan-fic-with-a-female-twist, “The Godmother.” Gender equality, am I right?

That’s a brilliant idea! Do you write a lot of fan fiction? How often does it star Justin Bieber? Be honest.

Honestly, I’ve only ever tried my hand at “slash fiction” starring, you guessed it, Justin Bieber, and myself. Except in “50 Shades of Bieber,” I played the role of the dom because all the creative license in the world cannot make J. Biebs wielding a cat-o-nine-tails anything less than preposterous. Otherwise, I feel like he’d grab the whip and just start doing some hip hop dance routine with it and ruin the mood.

Could you whip up an excerpt of yourself and Biebs for us in the Godmother real quick? You know, to quench curious minds?

“Whip up,” eh? Nice play on words there.

Due to a nasty litigation hate triangle I’m embroiled in  with the Mario Puzo estate and Usher Enterprises, I can’t offer any direct excerpts from “The Godmother Part 1: An Offer Justin Bieber Can’t Refuse” in which an unassuming young pop star abandons fame to join the ranks of a different kind of mafia (wink, wink). But I can tell you that instead of waking of up next to a horse head, young Bieber rips back the sheets to find a gimp mask that he then struggles to put on, as his iconic floppy hair keeps getting stuck in the zippers.

That sounds so picturesque. Who do you hope to sell the film rights to?

While I don’t want to jump the gun, so to speak, I’m pretty sure that Sofia Coppola is going to jump on the project ASAP since it’s pretty much the perfect opportunity to salvage her reputation as ruining the entire ‘Godfather’ film franchise. And I hear she’s quite a Bieleber.

Not making any promises but… what would you do if the Biebs himself attended your reading on the 17th?

I’d ask him if he was looking to hire any feminist-minded women with a flare for erotic fan fiction for his entourage. Or for Usher’s phone number.

Awful Interview: Gina Myers (redux)

9 Apr

Gina Myers

Gina Myers has a lot to think about. Some chief concerns: How did all of these pencils get in the grass? What is she trying to say? How did Louisville beat Michigan in the NCAA Championship last night? What constitutes a time travel love story? Does Bill and Ted Count?

Gina is the author of False Spring and A Model Year. Her forthcoming collection, Hold It Down (Coconut Books) will be released next Wednesday at the next Vouched Presents at the Goatfarm.

So what are your top five favorite time travel love stories?

Oh man, you hit me with a tough one right off the back! I have a lot of rules about what should and should not fall into this genre: for example, in Twin Peaks, Dale travels 25 years into the future to meet Laura Palmer, but the love story that he is involved with, with Annie, takes place in the “present” of the show–so that can’t really be a time travel love story; can it? In this year’s Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode, there was a storyline where Homer blew it with Marge in high school and had to travel repeatedly to future to try to win her. There are actually a few other Treehouse of Horror episodes that deal with time travel–like when Homer gets his hand stuck in a toaster and the toaster later becomes a time machine, or when they outlaw guns and Professor Frink gives Homer a time machine to travel back to warn everyone about the horrible future that will occur if they ban guns, but neither of these really involve love, unless we’re talking about the love of humanity and toast and guns. And then there’s the time that Homer transcends dimensions, and he finds an erotic bakery, that’s like love. I’ve managed to avoid answering the question thus far–

When you put it like that, Homer Simpson may be the ultimate romantic time-travel protagonist. He’s like a modern-day Odysseus of sorts! Do you view him as a tragic figure?

I am sure here that you intentionally compared him to Odysseus because he plays Odysseus in the episode where they re-enact classic tales. While passing through the river Styx, skeletons on the shore are rocking out to Styx’s “Lady,” and Homer exclaims, “Oh, this truly is hell!” He does share certain qualities of other tragic heroes–for example, it is usually his own flaws that cause his problems, but he frequently is able to dodge truly tragic outcomes. Things usually work out for him, or at the very least return to the status quo.

Life is really an uphill battle for Homer Simpson. Do you have a favorite episode of the Simpsons? I think mine may be the Lord of the Flies episode, though it’s hard to say for certain — there are so many episodes.

It’s funny, Molly Brodak asked me about this recently too, and at the time I answered “The Last Temptation of Krust,” which is from season nine, and is where Krusty becomes a George Carlin-esque standup comedian but eventually sells out and advertises for the Canyonero, a sports utility vehicle. But it really is hard to pick just one because there are so many episodes, but more than that there are so many great moments, including a lot of lit references and jokes. I can hear Homer now: “Leaves of Grass, my ass!”

Do you love the Simpsons so much that you wish you could travel back in time just to watch it with fresh eyes and fall in love all over again…?

Ha! My dream time travel love story! Recently I rewatched seasons one and two for the first time since they originally aired. I was a little worried–my memories of those seasons seemed a little embarrassing, but they were much better than I remembered! It was a little like time travel I suppose. I don’t think I would want to be ten again, though, nor would I want to be my present age somehow back in 1990. But if I did travel back, then maybe I could have watched Twin Peaks as it originally aired! Man, despite Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, 1989/1990 had some pretty awesome things going on. If I were able to time travel, I would remember to buy some bootleg Simpsons t-shirts from the Giant Public Market in Saginaw because I would love to wear those still today.

 You keep bringing up Twin Peaks, which leads me to think have a tendency to watch television shows which have a recurring theme of donuts. Is this the case? Is this an illuminati conspiracy?

I do like TV shows that feature donuts! And I like to eat donuts. And I like J Dilla’s album Donuts. And I once did an art project in high school where I painted a series of donuts. I don’t think it is an illuminati conspiracy though, or if it is, I have yet to reap any benefits it. It seems like a lot of people like donuts, which makes me wonder just how large and far-reaching this illuminati is….

Vouched: We need to get to the bottom of this. Let’s start with the Krispy Kreme on Ponce – it may be Illuminati headquarters. My mind is reeling with questions so I’m just going to list them.
• What percent of the attendees of the reading on April 17th will be members of the illuminati?
• How many donuts could you consume throughout a day?
• When you read, will be sneaking in Illuminati trigger words? Dropping hints to audience members ‘in the know’?
• Would you travel through time for love? How would you go about it?

Thirty-three percent of the audience will be members of the illuminati. If I challenged myself to see how many donuts I could eat in a single day, I’d say that number would be 33. Did you know 33 is an important number in the illuminati? All of my poems are exactly 33 words long. When the New World Order is in place, we won’t need to travel through time for love. The New World Order is Love.

VouchedATL Presents: An Evening of Book Releases!

1 Apr

So pumped for our next reading, coming up on Wednesday, April 17th at the Goatfarm. Check out this sweet poster!


It will be a reading to put all readings to shame. Not one, but TWO books will be released from two Atlanta publishers. First, Johnny Carroll’s Slow Burn from Safety Third Enterprises and Gina Myers’ Hold it Down from Coconut Books! To celebrate properly we have teamed up with both Safety Third and Coconut for an evening of readings from some of Atlanta’s favorite local legends.

For more details and things, you can check out  the event page.

Awful Interview: David Courtright

12 Mar
David Courtight

photo by Katherine Aul

This is the silhouette of David Courtright. Notice its composition – arms stretched upward. The shadow-puppet of a right hand:  a dog holding glasses in its mouth. The left arm reaches for something out of the frame, so mysterious. His head, ever-so-slightly angled suggests cheekiness — but we can’t be too sure. This silhouette belongs to a man and that man authored a chapbook called Animal Bodies and that chapbook will be released on Thursday, March 14th at Youngblood Gallery and Boutique. Unfortunately David Courtright’s silhouette is not currently taking interviews. Instead, here’s an interview with David Courtight himself.

So, David- what’s your totem animal? Why?

As a kid I was obsessed with dolphins. I was a pretty aquatic child, and the idea of living a life making dolphin noises and doing acrobatic air flips seemed pretty appealing. Lately I think it’s some kind of bird. I have this wood stamp from India with an ornate rooster design. It’s top contender for tattoo if I ever get one.

I was totally a dolphin kid too! Remember Animorphs? Did you ever read those?

Shit yeah. Totally obsessed. And the poor dork kid who got turned into an eagle forever? I feel like that was the Harry Potter of our generation. But stuff like that I really loved as a kid — the idea of being able to change into another animal, or have powers. I loved X-Men. Wow I’m just realizing the name of my chapbook! I totally ripped off Animorphs!

Holy shit, what a revelation. I was totally obsessed with X-Men as well. Gambit was such a dreamboat! What’s your superpower?

God, Rogue had great hair. I was into teleportation as a kid, and flying. But also any power that would allow me vast sums of money, i.e. telling the future and playing the lottery.

You’re a tricky one! The thought of teleportation has always made me kind of nervous. Like- what if something goes wrong, and you weren’t concentrating hard enough and then *poof* your right arm is lost in some alternate dimension, floating in space. You know what I mean?

No, not at all. Though there was that one episode of Star Trek: Voyager where Neelix and Tuvok were beamed back together with this foreign plant that scrambled the transporters and they became “Tuvix.” I’m nerding out pretty hard right now. I just think about how much time it takes to get from one place to another, and how much more productive I would be if I never had to drive anywhere, how much more sleep I would get, etc. But again, getting back to the “how do I make myself a billionaire off my powers,” not sure if teleporting would be the most lucrative.

What superpower do you feel would yield the highest returns? Knowing the future?

Probably the ability to go back in time and befriend/seduce Oprah. You really can’t do better than that. She’s loaded. I have a mild obsession with Oprah. And by mild I mean all-consuming. But yeah, if you’d stuck with her all those years, you know you’d be well taken-care of. Highest yielding superpower: being Oprah’s favorite thing ever.

Who do you think is more obsessed with Oprah- you or Oprah?

C) Dr. Phil. You can tell that look in his eyes. There is a fury that goes beyond all psychological knowledge, though it may be difficult to discern through the medium of television. I’ve heard when you’re in the studio audience the intensity is palpable. Many people lose bladder control. Depends is a big sponsor of Dr. Phil’s show, and many think its just his demographic. No no no no no. So the order of Oprah obsession goes 1. Dr. Phil. 2. Me. 3. Oprah herself.

Is it awful that I forgot about Dr. Phil entirely? Have you ever thought about reaching out to Oprah about your written work? The ol’ ‘HEY OPRAH, LOOK AT THIS AWESOME CHAPBOOK I WROTE.’…?

Oprah LOVES this ChaaaAAAAaapHe’s pretty forgettable. Yeah, I’ve approached her about doing it in the book club. She said since we’re so close it would be like nepotistic or something. I’m working on a new book of poems about my journey as a 30-something white woman traveling the world finding myself. I think she won’t be able to resist that. That was a weird time in my life, but I feel like it deserves its day in the sun. You know? Vouched, have you had your 30-something white woman existential crisis? It’s valuable. It’s voucheduable.

I haven’t quite gotten there but MAN I am totally looking forward to it. It will be such a thrill completely abandon my already completely full life to start LIVING, you know, like in Eat, Pray, Love & Under the Tuscan Sun. Are you more of a Julia Roberts or a Diane Lane?

Well it’s funny you should mention that, because I actually starred in the film version of Eat Pray Love. I was living in Delhi at the time and a guy came up to me and said “hey you’re white, do you want to be in a movie with Julia Roberts?” So I was an extra. You can see me sitting on the floor of the ashram in the scene where Julia is a volunteer and the new batch of yogis comes in. Just try and find me! She was contractually not allowed to talk to extras, so I would say we’re BFFs, but we ain’t. And through all of that, and even though I haven’t even seen the Tuscan movie, I’m definitely more of a Diane Lane. Just because.

Diane Lane would totes talk to extras. Say, for instance, you ran into Diane Lane in the ATL a couple of days before the reading at Youngblood on the 14th. How would you tell her about the reading she had to attend? How would she react?

I don’t think Diane Lane can actually read, so this would be like a good opportunity for her to be read to. So I’d say [in a loud voice] “DIANE DO YOU LIKE PO-WEMS?” and she would mouth some nonsense bleeps and bloops and we’d enjoy a nice kombucha on the Beltline. So yeah, I think she’s coming. She’ll ride with OPRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Awful Interview: Molly Brodak (Redux)

10 Mar

Molly Brodak

You probably remember Molly Brodak because last time she was Awfully Interviewed we discovered she was not only a Molly Brodak but also the last Unicorn (aka: Amalthea). Molly Brodak is still a revelation, and probably, yes, still the Unicorn. Since we last spoke she has been surrounded by a flurry of words, confectioner’s sugar, sprinkles, and glitter. These experiments resulted in her latest chapbook Essay on Parts of Day (Horseless Press) – a really stunning collection that will cause something to bloom inside you as you read. Molly will be reading at the Animal Bodies Release Party at Youngblood on March 14th.

So Molly, your latest chap is called Essay on Parts of Day. What’s your favorite part of day?

Hhhm, probably the morning is the best-looking part of day. But the part where I sit on the couch with a blanket is the best-feeling part of day.

Which can really be any time of the day, right? Are you a fan of naps? If so- do you prefer couch naps to bed naps?

Couch-blanket time can be anytime, which makes it, like, outside of time. BEYOND time. Naps… naps are hard. Sometimes I feel much worse after taking naps, sometimes better, so it seems like a real gamble. This is how I gamble. With naps. My life is full of danger and excitement.

Casinos would be much more tempting places if they incorporated blanketed couches- don’t you agree?

Yes that would be bad for me. Plus with a buffet nearby always that would be really, really bad for me. They could set up “nap roulette” rooms where you could take your chances with a nap, then eat some buffet, win or lose. I hope no one who is into investing in concept casinos is reading this.

That’s actually Vouched’s exact target audience. Buffets are really intimidating to me. Have you ever been to a Golden Corral?

Have I…ever…Been…to Golden Corral?? The Trough? You are now talking about my favorite restaurant. How could it possibly be intimidating? It’s true that buffets can be kind of stressful in some ways. But I always seem to manage.

Is it called the trough? I hadn’t heard that before! What’s your first go-to at a breakfast buffet? I usually go straight to the Belgian Waffles, when they’re available.

This is a real place.

The Trough

Well I think just my sister and I call it the Trough. I feel like a pig knocking against other pigs in the chute when I go there! Yes Belgian Waffles are a good choice. Pancakes get sort of rubbery if they sit for too long. Sausage gets filmy and resistant. Eggs get glacial and start to feel doomed. The large tub of yogurt giggles when you walk; no one wants it. Bacon is okay with difficulties. Biscuits think of themselves as asteroids. The syrup winds up under a protective sheet of itself.

Wow, that’s really beautiful, Molly. Do you feel that your relationship with your writing is similar to your relationship with your cooking, or are they different beasts entirely?

They are pretty different beasts. I really like writing recipes for baked goods because I like codes and patterns and proportions, so there’s probably some similarity in poetry but I try to not think about that too much because it seems corny. I like to bake because I want to make these weird things exist in the world that don’t exist yet, so probably that is like poems too.

What’s the most innovative thing you’ve ever baked?

My boyfriend Blake is always trying to come up with difficult baking challenges for me, which I love. So the weirdest things I make are usually responses to his challenges. Once he asked me for spherical cookie so I made a mold by wrapping foil around a baseball and filling the mold with dough with a marshmallow baked inside (the marshmallow melts away during baking, leaving a hollow center I injected with frosting). One of my favorite weird cookies is a variation on a tuile cookie where I take really thin batter and “screenprint” it across shapes cut out of foam. They come out incredibly thin, then I stack them with frosting to make a sort of 3-d shape. Last spring I made strawberries this way, maybe this year I’ll make little bananas.

If you were to describe the upcoming reading as a confection- what would it be?

A parfait! Duh! With a LOT of layers so you need a LONG spoon.