Tag Archives: Safety Third Enterprises

Awful Interview: John Carroll

8 Apr

John Carroll

John Carroll made a mistake. He has thrice awfully interviewed me at PURGE to help promote both the launch of VouchedATL and our two birthday parties. That wasn’t his mistake, it was nice of him. His mistake was the manner of which he Awfully Interviewed me. I mean, he really ‘gave me a dose of my own medicine’ so to speak. I waited for a long time for retribution.

John’s been a regular contributor at The Five-Hundred since its inception, so we’ve invited him back to read for us at the Five Hundred’s reading this Thursday, April 10th at the Goat farm.

Below you will find an Awful Interview I did with John upon the release of Slow Burn, which was released by Safety Third Enterprises just about a year ago.

What are you trying to prove?

I don’t know? 9/11 was an inside job. The Illuminati is real. Aliens exists. Social media will be the downfall of civilization. You know, just the regular macho stuff. I guess I do know.

Do I come across as someone who has something to prove(other than bald is beautiful and all the other things I just listed)?

Kind of. You seem like one of those people who has a vendetta. You know, like Guy Fawkes. HOLY SHIT- John Carroll are you Anonymous?!

Shit. I wish. I like the idea of Anonymous, not so much for their ability to fuck shit up, which I think is pretty rad, but because they remind me of Borg from Star Trek. Kind of like Legion in the Bible. I guess I just like the idea of groups that refer to themselves as one, but then again the U.S. Army does that too. Nevermind.

Aren’t you a patriot? Have some pride! I heard you like baseball, right? Don’t you like pie? Happiness? Will Smith Movies?

I like Thomas Jefferson a lot. He made his own Bible and brought French Fries to America. I can only hope to accomplish that much. I really only liked baseball when Michael Jordan was playing. Did you know that Will Smith was supposed to play Neo in The Matrix, but turned it down? I’m not sure how I feel about that. But yeah, Will Smith is solid.

Didn’t you burn a Bible once? Was that your attempt to be Jeffersonian? How did that go for you?

You know what’s probably more offensive to most people? I burned a Beatles record once as well. I dated a girl who really liked the Beatles a few months later. She told me I was stupid for doing it. We went on vacation to Virginia and she wouldn’t take me to Monticello. We broke up when we got home.

WOW you really brought that one full circle — it was like watching an episode of Seinfeld. Have you ever seen that show?

Seinfeld is probably appreciated for the wrong reasons. Larry David induces panic attacks in my life. I wouldn’t say that I’m a fan of Jerry Seinfeld, but I read his book, Seinlanguage in 5th grade. I asked my parents if I could have a Bar Mitzvah after reading it. They made me accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour instead.

 Was that a pretty formative moment in your life? What do you think the repercussions were?

I’d like to act like it wasn’t, but the older I get the more I feel the need to revert back to adolescent tendencies. You know, ride a bike, jump on beds, make fun of girls that I’d like to have sexual intercourse with. Normal ten year old boy stuff.

Have you found yourself purchasing a lot of footed pajamas as of late?

Unfortunately, they don’t have them in my size. Hot Topic does sell dinosaur and Hello Kitty hoodies though. I need to stop by there to pick up the new Marilyn Manson album, so you never know.

How does Marilyn Manson always manage to date such hotties?

I think it’s pretty clear Laura. If you bang MM you’re guaranteed at least B-movie stardom.

Good point. You forgot to mention how romantic he is though. I mean, look at him. Marilyn Manson OOZES romance. What’s your favorite 90’s teen flick?

Drop Dead Gorgeous. Two words: Rolling Crucifix.

That makes a lot of sense. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Denise Richards?

Only in the dark.

Oh wow. So. …why should people come and see you read on the 17th?

The stories that I will be reading were actually inspired by Denise Richards’ outstanding performance in the 1998 erotica thriller Wild Things. I believe that I’m the first writer to ever incorporate her influence into anything literary, outside of tabloid magazines.

Indie Lit Classics: Matt DeBenedictis

13 Nov



Man, look at Matt DeBenedictis. What a rad dude. Not only is he the brains behind chapbook champ Safety Third Enterprises, he’s a hell of a writer himself, and the author of Congratulations! There’s No Last Place If Everyone’s Dead He’s reading at the Letters Festival tomorrow night. You should go hear him!

Sometime ago, around the time Matt read for us at Vouched Presents in Atlanta, we conducted an Awful Interview with him. He said wonderful, memorable things to us like this thing about hugging bears.

I think the whole world would be a better place if we could hug bears. I know I’d be happy if I could wrap my arms around a rotund bear and just feel the earth hidden in its fur. But we can’t, they’ll eat us and turn us into poop. No bueno.”

and also this, about why he writes.

“Simply put it’s hearing and telling a good story. I spent a good chunk of my early 20s on tour, some by way of a band and some by way of being a preacher, and my favorite moments were always hanging out at a bar after the night’s events were done. Strangers coming together to find ways to no longer have a strangeness between them. You broke the ice telling stories, whether fun tales from touring or a humorous one from being a preacher, you had to say something interesting.

When I quit being on the road with bands and I decided I was no longer a man of religious faith I missed those story times. So I began to write.”

Sometime later he said equally indelible things about Greying Ghost Press and why they should be considered an Indie Lit Classic.

Well guess what, Matt? We’re throwing you in that canon, too.

Best Thing I’ve Read Today: 48 Pornos

13 Aug

tylergobble_48pornoscover-01Urbandictionary.com provides several definitions of a circle jerk. The most common (and literal) definition is when “a group of males sit in a circle, jerking each other off.” There is, though, and alternate definition, which is the “practice of expressing emotions, feelings, and…sentiments as a means of bonding or gaining appreciation for the members of your team.”

Both definitions of circle jerk are apropos in the case of this review of Tyler Gobble’s 48 Pornos (Safety Third Enterprises, 2013). On the one hand, Gobble’s chapbook contains brief prose blocks that describe the scripts for a series of imaginary pornos; on the other hand, Gobble also contributes to Vouched Books. Regardless of what definition of circle jerk you choose to use, a masturbatory specter most definitely haunts this review.

As mentioned, these prose poems present an outline for forty-eight different pornos, each one opening with the phrase “Get this”; take, for example, the following:

Get this: A man at the bar wins the contest for eating the most cockroaches. His prize: He gets to fuck The Cockroach Queen. She is draped across the table on which he won. And below her, he is dying. He apparently is allergic to shellfish. Those last two parts are not in the script. (3)


Get this: A woman opens her legs and out stumbles two overfed roosters. A man in flannel beheads the roosters. The man invites the woman over for dinner. After dinner, they fuck, but it’s a really short scene. (7)

The chapbook proceeds in this fashion, offering readers vignette after vignette of increasingly bizarre scripts. While some of the poems read like they actually could be pornos, the most unbelievable and preposterous scripts tend to be the most interesting.

In this sense, the collection seems to be less intent on titillating or the constructing an erotic tableaux, and more interested in creating an absurd landscape populated with surreal images wherein people happen to be engaged in various sexcapades. To this extent, the poems in 48 Pornos can act as a catalyst for a more in-depth critique (or at least they broach questions about) the proliferation of niche and fetish cultures in our digital, Internet-based age.

Furthermore, the collection also seems to suggest an overlap between the pornography and celebrity industries. With actors that “look like” (10) pop culture icons such as Jeff Gordon, Bon Jovi, Jesus, Garth Brooks, and LL Cool J, it’s difficult not to read these poems as a commentary on the manner in which we fetishize images of cultural icons and entertainers. Which begs the question: are magazines such as US Weekly and websites like TMZ pornography in their own right?

If you’re interested in issues such as these, or just want to read poems about clouds and/or dudes in g-strings fucking each other, order a copy of 48 Pornos today.

SSR #5 of 15: 48 Pornos

8 Jul


48 Pornos
Tyler Gobble
Safety Third Enterprises

Gobble’s impulsive and charming accounts of sexual encounters — both daydreams and feasible realities — will make you blush and laugh.

VouchedATL Presents: An Evening of Book Releases!

1 Apr

So pumped for our next reading, coming up on Wednesday, April 17th at the Goatfarm. Check out this sweet poster!


It will be a reading to put all readings to shame. Not one, but TWO books will be released from two Atlanta publishers. First, Johnny Carroll’s Slow Burn from Safety Third Enterprises and Gina Myers’ Hold it Down from Coconut Books! To celebrate properly we have teamed up with both Safety Third and Coconut for an evening of readings from some of Atlanta’s favorite local legends.

For more details and things, you can check out  the event page.

Mel Bosworth Every Laundromat in the World Release Contest Winner: Brandon Barr

27 Jun

After shuffling through the great stack of submissions, Safety Third Enterprises lead guy Matt DeBenedictis, Laundromat extraordinaire Mel Bosworth, Vouched ATL lady Laura Straub, and myself have chosen the following entry by Brandon Barr as the winner of the Every Laundromat in the World Release Contest.

Brandon has won the following items:

  • A personalized, signed copy of the chapbook, dedicated personally to the winner and containing two extra poems.
  • A copy of every chapbook in stock from Safety Third Enterprises, including: He Is Talking To The Fat Lady (xTx), I Don’t Respect Female Expression (Frank Hinton), Just A Little Piece Of Heartburn (Tom Cheshire), and Congratulations! There’s No Last Place If Everyone Is Dead (Matt DeBenedictis).

Don’t forget to order your copy of the limited-edition print version of Every Laundromat in the World from Safety Third Enterprises today! Thanks to everyone who participated in the contest, and for making our duty to choose a winner such a challenge!

xTx & Frank Hinton Chapbook Contest- WINNERS!

31 Jan

We’re so pleased to announce the winners of the xTx and Frank Hinton Chapbook Contest! First, Safety Third Enterprises, xTx, Frank Hinton and I would like to thank all of our participants for making our job so difficult. It was not easy to pick a winner when there were so many stellar submissions to sift through. Sift we did though. Here are our selections. 


Don’t bother reading xTx unless you’re willing to unscrew heads, burrow inside questionable skins, lick a stranger’s plate clean while feeling up your fears. 

-Joe Kapitan

Frank Hinton: 

The bird rises as the sun sets again, Frank Hinton.

-DeWitt Brinson

Congratulations Joe and DeWitt!

Again, thank you to everyone who participated!

To order your own copy of Frank Hinton’s I Don’t Respect Female Expression or xTx’s He Is Talking to the Fat Lady visit Safety Third Enterprises’ online storefront. Digital copies will be up for grabs tomorrow.

last day to enter our xTx & Frank Hinton chapbook contest is this Saturday the 21st!

19 Jan

Hey! Just wanted to remind you all that the last day to submit to our xTx and Frank Hinton chapbook contest is this Saturday, January 21st! Thank you to everyone who has sent us their SSR thus far. Let’s keep ’em coming!

You can find the details of the contest at this page.

Awful Interview: Matt DeBenedictis

8 Sep

Have you met Matt DeBenedictis? Well get ready to. He’ll be reading at the next Vouched Presents here in Atlanta on the 19th. Even better news, he’ll be re-releasing his chapbook There’s No Last Place if Everyone is Dead (from his press Safety Third Enterprises)  that evening, and I couldn’t be more excited to have it on the table. There are some more things you should know. We will get to those things shortly, in this awful interview. But first, you should know that very serious things are discussed in this interview. Things like traps, bears, rocks, scissors, and not paper. This interview may cut you. Consider yourself disclaimed.

You run Safety Third Enterprises. Two questions for you about that. First, if safety comes third, what comes first and second? Secondly, what drew you to become an enterprise? Why not ‘press’ or ‘corporation’?

Doesn’t ‘enterprise’ sound so much fun? You hear that word and it can mean anything, but you get an image of some person hurriedly working behind a desk, plotting and planning for something big. They are filled with dread as much as they are hope, and the incoming box is filled with drugs. With ‘corporation’ you think of a massive metal phallic thrusting and demolishing all the people below the logo. I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to the guy at that desk way up the skyscraper. That guy is a dick.

What comes before Safety is different everyday. Today is good Sci-Fi and trying to find the blueprints I made when I was a kid on how to construct all the alien boobie traps used in The Predator. One of my neighbors tried to steal my wife’s scooter. I have a log and an understood normal amount of rope.

Setting a good trap comes before safety most days.

When I hear ‘Enterprise’ I tend to think of Star Trek, but that’s not your fault. Also, that’s not a bad thing. I like thinking of Star Trek. What’s your favorite kind of trap to set? I have a friend whose Dad killed a bear over the weekend. I’m not sure if there was a trap involved. What do you think?

There’s nothing wrong with Star Trek. I actually just now (finally) saw the new redux. I enjoyed it a lot, but I kind of wish James Van Der Beek would have played Kirk. The movie was missing a big forehead vs. pointy ears argument.

I like word traps actually. It’s where you are in an argument with someone and you bring no full defense of thought out reasons for your idea or ideal to triumph. You just use the little word fumbles from the other person against them. Quote their own miss steps back to them and watch them squirm. Just a heads up, this type of trap often ends with getting punched or having something wet thrown in your face.

I think the whole world would be a better place if we could hug bears. I know I’d be happy if I could wrap my arms around a rotund bear and just feel the earth hidden in its fur. But we can’t, they’ll eat us and turn us into poop. No bueno.

Word traps sound totally cut-throat. It seems a waste that bears aren’t huggers, they look so huggable. What made you want to be a writer?

Simply put it’s hearing and telling a good story. I spent a good chunk of my early 20s on tour, some by way of a band and some by way of being a preacher, and my favorite moments were always hanging out at a bar after the night’s events were done. Strangers coming together to find ways to no longer have a strangeness between them. You broke the ice telling stories, whether fun tales from touring or a humorous one from being a preacher, you had to say something interesting.

When I quit being on the road with bands and I decided I was no longer a man of religious faith I missed those story times. So I began to write.

When you play rock, paper, scissors are you a rock guy? You seem like you might be.

I never once played paper. I can say that. I probably float in between rock and scissors but never once did I throw out paper to change up the rotation. Paper seems so pointless in the chance game. It just lays there, helpless only entrapping by chance. It can never be a hero. No one says “good job” to quicksand or a big hole. They were just there.

Better to cut or mash your opponents, for certain. Do you have a ‘muse’? What does he/she look like? Or is your muse a huggable bear?

Last week I saw what was obviously a 12-year old boy dancing on the side of Memorial. His only clothes were boxers with hearts and roses, which honestly I have never seen anyone wear outside of quirky television shows. He danced for his vinyl copy of Body Dylan’s Oh Mercy without a care about the hookers peddling across the street or the older kid jumping from property to property on his dirt bike.

He was dancing for the album, his male boobs sweat and followed his rhythm as he also began to kiss the album cover. This fearless and exuberant Spanish kid is my muse. I want to feel like that after I write.

I’m also quite inspired by the punchline hidden inside of every Warren Zevon song.

What do you think your fearless and exuberant Spanish kid would tell the wusses who aren’t sure if they will be at our reading on the nineteenth?

“Come! After the words we can listen to Bob Dylan and do lots of good drugs.” Though very excited I imagine that fearless and exuberant Spanish kid as a little troubled.

Awful Interview: Tom Cheshire

18 Aug
Tom Cheshire has pockets lined with his own words. That’s pretty nice, isn’t it? If only all of our pockets could be so lucky. He finds dogs more inspirational than cats. You can find him in and around Atlanta, writing on pizza boxes and napkins. He is surrounded by words, smiles, and good beer. His first chapbook , Just A Little Piece of Heartburn, is coming out from Safety Third Enterprises this week. To celebrate PURGEATL and Safety Third Enterprises are hosting a reading at Youngblood Gallery this Sunday, August 21st at 6:30pm. While you are there you should buy him a Stella. Preferably of the canned persuasion. I’m going to.
So Tom, your last name is Cheshire, like the cat. Would you say that correlation has influenced your life or work in any way?

I was called The Cheshire Cat for a minute when I was a kid. I was always smiling and laughing and had I guess you could say, a Cheshire Grin. Then people started calling me Tom Cat. I’m just glad my middle name isn’t Alley.

It hasn’t influenced me in any way though. I think I’ve looked to dogs more for inspiration.

How have dogs inspired you? Do you have any dogs? If so, what kind?

I think I’ve always wanted the life of a dog. I like to lay around and I enjoy when people pet me. I had a poodle named “Muffin” when I was a boy but she had an annoying bark. I used to walk by all of the gas station dogs in my neighborhood in Queens and just feel bad for them because they weren’t getting  the proper love and attention that they deserved. They had grease and oil all over them and they always looked lost and hungry.

I don’t have a dog right now because I am never home and that just wouldn’t be fair. I see myself getting a dog when I am older. I will either get a BIG ONE or a small one, a Shepherd or a Pug.

Your chapbook will be printed in your handwriting, and features a couple pages with ‘water stains’ on them. Where do you write your poetry and on what kind of surface? I hope you keep a lot of bar napkins with poems in your pockets.

I do keep a lot of bar napkins and random pieces of paper in my pocket. The last poem in the book is called “PANTS POCKET” and it pretty much sums it all up. You see someone that you once shared a life with. They walk away. You want to laugh, you want to cry, so why not go write something pretty down. We go through all kinds of emotions through out the day so why not document them on whatever you have near you. Inspiration struck me once and I wrote a song on a pizza box.

I write sitting down in bars. I write laying down in bed late at night. I write sitting on a park bench. I write in the shower and I write when I am riding my bicycle.

So basically I write things down, poems, short stories and songs on pieces of tissue and cardboard and just stuff them in my pants.

I’m guessing you didn’t keep the pizza box in your pocket. That would make it difficult to walk around. How do you decide how to order all of these rag-tag poems? Also, have you ever lost a poem? I lose a lot of things that I keep in my pockets.

I folded the pizza box up and put it under my hat. I couldn’t let that one get away. I really don’t know how I decide to put these groups of words in order, I think they kind of just, fall in place. You write them, you read them, you put them away for a minute, then you read them again. Then they just appear in the order they should be.

I have been pretty fortunate with keeping paper in my pocket. I don’t think I have lost too many. When I moved last year, I realized I had 9 boxes of just random thoughts and writings on the strangest pieces of paper.

What’s your favorite kind of beer?

I drink Stella to put me in a good mood. It is like Manna from Heaven. That is my first choice always. When I am low on cash, a Tecate with salt and lime, will do.

Have you had Stella in a can yet? It’s amazing.

No, where can you get it? I can’t wait to try it.

I get them at Green’s, they are sold in ten-packs. It is somehow even more delicious in a can.
Are you excited for your reading? Have you been practicing? What is your reading persona like?

I will be going to Green’s later. Thank you much, for the tip.

I am very excited for the reading. I have practiced reading the poems aloud in front of the mirror twice and that is it. I am done. I will do a run through of the poems the morning of.  

I don’t know if I have a style or persona. I like the idea of the the poems coming across as songs that tell stories. There are some that I will speak and some that I will sing.  

It’s going to be a really great event. Is there anything you would like to say to anyone who is considering going but is too wimpy to commit to it?

For those of you who don’t like poetry readings there will be music and for those of you who don’t like music there will be reading. It will be a really special night in a room full of joy and celebration. There will be something there for everyone. I don’t take myself too seriously and want to have a good time with this. And I want everyone there to have a great night and be part of the event. I am very proud of this book and think it would look good on any coffee table in the world.

I would also like to sincerely thank Matt at Safety Third Enterprises and Tim with Purge ATL for believing in me and this project. It took a lot of hands to make this possible. It takes team work to make a dream work baby. I want to thank Brian Manley and Fun With Robots, Marlow Sanchez for recording  the audio, the lovely ladies at Young Blood for hosting and you kind folks at Vouched Books.

It’s going to be a great night. Bring it. Cheers.