Awful Interview: Gina Myers (redux)

9 Apr

Gina Myers

Gina Myers has a lot to think about. Some chief concerns: How did all of these pencils get in the grass? What is she trying to say? How did Louisville beat Michigan in the NCAA Championship last night? What constitutes a time travel love story? Does Bill and Ted Count?

Gina is the author of False Spring and A Model Year. Her forthcoming collection, Hold It Down (Coconut Books) will be released next Wednesday at the next Vouched Presents at the Goatfarm.

So what are your top five favorite time travel love stories?

Oh man, you hit me with a tough one right off the back! I have a lot of rules about what should and should not fall into this genre: for example, in Twin Peaks, Dale travels 25 years into the future to meet Laura Palmer, but the love story that he is involved with, with Annie, takes place in the “present” of the show–so that can’t really be a time travel love story; can it? In this year’s Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode, there was a storyline where Homer blew it with Marge in high school and had to travel repeatedly to future to try to win her. There are actually a few other Treehouse of Horror episodes that deal with time travel–like when Homer gets his hand stuck in a toaster and the toaster later becomes a time machine, or when they outlaw guns and Professor Frink gives Homer a time machine to travel back to warn everyone about the horrible future that will occur if they ban guns, but neither of these really involve love, unless we’re talking about the love of humanity and toast and guns. And then there’s the time that Homer transcends dimensions, and he finds an erotic bakery, that’s like love. I’ve managed to avoid answering the question thus far–

When you put it like that, Homer Simpson may be the ultimate romantic time-travel protagonist. He’s like a modern-day Odysseus of sorts! Do you view him as a tragic figure?

I am sure here that you intentionally compared him to Odysseus because he plays Odysseus in the episode where they re-enact classic tales. While passing through the river Styx, skeletons on the shore are rocking out to Styx’s “Lady,” and Homer exclaims, “Oh, this truly is hell!” He does share certain qualities of other tragic heroes–for example, it is usually his own flaws that cause his problems, but he frequently is able to dodge truly tragic outcomes. Things usually work out for him, or at the very least return to the status quo.

Life is really an uphill battle for Homer Simpson. Do you have a favorite episode of the Simpsons? I think mine may be the Lord of the Flies episode, though it’s hard to say for certain — there are so many episodes.

It’s funny, Molly Brodak asked me about this recently too, and at the time I answered “The Last Temptation of Krust,” which is from season nine, and is where Krusty becomes a George Carlin-esque standup comedian but eventually sells out and advertises for the Canyonero, a sports utility vehicle. But it really is hard to pick just one because there are so many episodes, but more than that there are so many great moments, including a lot of lit references and jokes. I can hear Homer now: “Leaves of Grass, my ass!”

Do you love the Simpsons so much that you wish you could travel back in time just to watch it with fresh eyes and fall in love all over again…?

Ha! My dream time travel love story! Recently I rewatched seasons one and two for the first time since they originally aired. I was a little worried–my memories of those seasons seemed a little embarrassing, but they were much better than I remembered! It was a little like time travel I suppose. I don’t think I would want to be ten again, though, nor would I want to be my present age somehow back in 1990. But if I did travel back, then maybe I could have watched Twin Peaks as it originally aired! Man, despite Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, 1989/1990 had some pretty awesome things going on. If I were able to time travel, I would remember to buy some bootleg Simpsons t-shirts from the Giant Public Market in Saginaw because I would love to wear those still today.

 You keep bringing up Twin Peaks, which leads me to think have a tendency to watch television shows which have a recurring theme of donuts. Is this the case? Is this an illuminati conspiracy?

I do like TV shows that feature donuts! And I like to eat donuts. And I like J Dilla’s album Donuts. And I once did an art project in high school where I painted a series of donuts. I don’t think it is an illuminati conspiracy though, or if it is, I have yet to reap any benefits it. It seems like a lot of people like donuts, which makes me wonder just how large and far-reaching this illuminati is….

Vouched: We need to get to the bottom of this. Let’s start with the Krispy Kreme on Ponce – it may be Illuminati headquarters. My mind is reeling with questions so I’m just going to list them.
• What percent of the attendees of the reading on April 17th will be members of the illuminati?
• How many donuts could you consume throughout a day?
• When you read, will be sneaking in Illuminati trigger words? Dropping hints to audience members ‘in the know’?
• Would you travel through time for love? How would you go about it?

Thirty-three percent of the audience will be members of the illuminati. If I challenged myself to see how many donuts I could eat in a single day, I’d say that number would be 33. Did you know 33 is an important number in the illuminati? All of my poems are exactly 33 words long. When the New World Order is in place, we won’t need to travel through time for love. The New World Order is Love.

One Response to “Awful Interview: Gina Myers (redux)”


  1. National Poetry Month Recap | Vouched Books - May 2, 2013

    […] Awful Interview with Gina Myers (redux) […]

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