Awful Interview: Michael Nye

7 Nov

This is Michael Nye- not Emmy Winner Damian Lewis. Damian Lewis is an English actor born on February 11,1971 in St. John’s Wood England. Damian Lewis has starred in some nifty shows- most recently Homeland, but he will forever remain in my heart Lt. Winters from HBO’s Band of Brothers.

Anyway, like I said, this isn’t Damian Lewis, it is Michael Nye. He’s an author. His book, Strategies Against Extinction, was recently published by Queen’s Ferry Press. Michael’s name may be familiar because he was our Vouched Visitor in October. Also, he’s the Managing Editor of the Missouri Review. Oh yeah, and I can’t stop talking about how he’s reading in Atlanta this Friday.

So Michael, you’re really into hoops, right? Remember the game NBA Jams? If so- who was your go-to team? If not, how does it feel to know you haven’t played one of the greatest video games of all time?

BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! I actually have a version of NBA Jam on my phone, which is what I do when I should be writing, reading, working, cleaning, sleeping, etc. In the classic version, my go-to team was Charlotte: Kendall Gill and Larry “Grandmama” Johnson, who is the reason I started wearing housedresses to work. Also, I kinda like Double Dribble and NBA Live ‘95. So.

NO WAY THAT IS MY TEAM TOO!! Man, nothing like “Grandmama” Johnson. Whatever happened to that kind of showmanship in professional sports? The only weirdo athlete that comes to mind these days is Brian Wilson of the San Francisco Giants- who has a website dedicated to his beard. Gone are the days of professional athletes dressing in drag, endorsing hamburgers. Do you think there’s anything we can do to bring it back? SHOULD it come back?

First Andre Dubus, then Grandmama – it’s like we were separated at birth! Sadly, the NBA has really pushed a corporate image on the game, misunderstanding hip-hop culture and individuality as somehow being detrimental to the sport. Businesses are still making this mistake: see how Cristal tried to distance their brand from Jay-Z (oops).

If anyone could dress in drag and endorse hamburgers – who would be against this? – I think Blake Griffin could pull it off. I love his Kia commercials. I don’t know if I love Kia automobiles (I always read that as KIA which makes me think MIA which makes me think of those Chuck Norris movies) but Griffin seems to be comfortable making fun of himself. Professional sports are big business … but it’s still a game, not international monetary policy. It should be a blast. Griffin seems to understand this.

You seem to have put a lot of thought into this already. How do you think we could get Blake to move into action? Should we make some phone calls?

Sadly, my connections to the Association are with people that work for or cover the Chicago Bulls or my beloved Boston Celtics. Plus, all the kids use texts now. I can’t tell you how badly autocorrect mangles my words. So, instead, of:

“Eh yo, Blake, Laura and Michael (you know us) here. We’re thinking you should sell Big Macs while dressing like Lana Del Rey and donate all the money to cancer research”

It would probably read:

“Eh yo, Blake, Dr. Laura Schlessinger here (you know me). We’re thinking those ads where your Big Self gets shot out of a cannon indicates you’re a psychological cancer”
This might ruin the whole plan.

Yeesh. Autocorrect really puts you through the ringer, huh? Recently whenever I type “Yayyyy” (which happens quite frequently) autocorrect changes it to “Tatty” (adj. worn and shabby; in poor condition: the room was furnished in slightly tatty upholstered furniture.)  a word I have never, ever, ever used in conversation- über frustrating.

Wait, I’m supposed to ask you a question.
Here’s something: Who are your top five favorite villains?

I’ll resist the temptation to overthink this too much, and consider whether favorite means “Wow, this guy is awesome!” or if it’s more of a “I hate this guy so much and wish he’d walk into oncoming traffic” and just go with this, in reverse order:

Mr. Milo (The Last Boy Scout), Ivan Drago (Rocky IV), Daniel Plainview (There Will Be Blood), Vladimir Putin (real, satirically and unfortunately), Hans Gruber (Die Hard). Honorable Mention: KHAN! (Star Trek 2)

Oh man oh man, that is a great list. Could you imagine them all battling Mortal Kombat style? Who do you think would win in a face-off: Ivan Drago vs. Hans Gruber?

Drago. Easy. I just hope Gruber gets to say something before he gets Fatalitied. Maybe, because Rocky Balboa won the Cold War with his speech at the end of Rocky IV, Drago is a changed man and gives Gruber the Friendship doll instead of ripping his spine out. In which case, Gruber would count to three (“There will not be a four”), shoot him, then go sit on a beach, earning twenty percent.

You have a pretty cut-throat imagination, Nye. What’s at the root of that?


Seriously, both of my parents were avid readers. My father loved spy novels, books by Tom Clancy and Jack Higgins and the like, and my mother read a little bit of everything, though, as I remember it, she devoured romance novels more than anything else. So, I read too. And, when I was in high school, I had a job in a video store and so I borrowed lots of movies. With that, I was always a pretty shy, quiet kid, which means I observed a tremendous amount and felt, generally, that no one really understood how I felt, or cared what I felt, and that leads to a tremendous amount of introspection.

I like both responses. Most of my friends with the most active imaginations happened to work at video stores/movie theatres at some point. THE MAGIC OF CINEMA.
Want to talk about Andre Dubus for a second?

If a movie came out in the late 80’s to early 90’s, I’ve almost certainly seen it. And one of my favorite things is that I like movies that don’t work. That should have been good but weren’t. I can think of lots of examples of this, from Sleepers to The Matrix Reloaded to Jumper to The Next Three Days and who knows where else. I’m both delighted by this movies and furious with how they failed, usually in glaring ways, and I think that has really helped my critical judgment of what makes for good narratives.

Let’s talk Dubus! I love that he only wrote short stories. I love that he was empathetic with all of his characters, that he examined people with such compassion and honesty. I love that he always seems to be writing the same story while always writing a different story. I love his use of semi-colons. I love his novellas, which are my go-to read on nights when I don’t have the energy or interest in doing anything else.

We love all of the same things about him. I really don’t know how to expound upon that. Wait here’s something- my parents got me a new copy of his short story collection last Christmas. (2011 Best Present Award Winner) Reading it- I compulsively marked up its pages. Underlined. Bracketed. Dog-eared. It was so full of gems! That’s a compulsion I can’t remember having since late in undergrad.
Do you still do that- mark up your books? It feels frowned upon.

One of The Missouri Review’s interns, Andrew Mangan, recently blogged about this very subject. He wrote “annotation and underlining allows for a persistent experience with a book” Why not mark the book? I mean, if it’s a first edition of House of Mirth, okay. Otherwise? It seems perfectly natural. I tend to underline and highlight rather than dog-ear; I’m a very neat person, and pages that are bent drive me crazy, not because the paperback is sacred, I’m just that type of person. I have a very neat sock drawer.

From what I’ve seen so far this semester, my students tend not to mark up their texts much. My guess is that they are hoping to sell their textbooks back (oh, how disappointed they will be in the bookstores buy back offer!) or the books are rented, which I believe is more common at colleges now.

Quick digression about the Dubus Selected Stories: how does it not include We Don’t Live Here Anymore?

 I wonder that often. It’s mildly enraging. They did keep a lot of gems though. A Father’s Story, The Pitcher, The Winter Father. Is A Father’s Story still your favorite? How does your love of Dubus affect your own writing?

Asking for my favorite Dubus story is almost impossible for me, but forced to choose, I’d probably still say Yes. I turn to his novellas so often–he seems like a writer perfect for novellas, like The Pretty Girl or Finding a Girl in America–but A Father’s Story accomplishes so much, and its execution of point of view, voice, character, and that ending (yeesh) it’s tough for me to go any other way.

Dubus continues to remind me of two things. One, on the sentence level, is that semi-colons are good. I think Vonnegut hated them, and I’m sure several other writers do too, but I love how they create pause and continuity at the same time. I even like how they look. The other thing that Dubus reminds me of is empathy in our characters. The villains I listed above are cartoons, which is, of course, part of their pleasure. And why pure villains exist in literature too (Iago and The Judge from Blood Meridian spring to mind), my “bad” characters are damaged or flawed, not evil, not villians. Being able to drill deep into a character’s consciousness is something I love to do in my fiction, and I definitely learned that from Andre Dubus.

Digression, Part II: spellcheck is awesome – I cannot spell the world “villain.”

What other words to you have difficulty spelling?

So, so, so many. Absolutely. Certain and certainty. Maintenance. Conscientious. Broccoli. Privilege. Sacrilegious. Rhythm (why do I keep misspelling this one? I use this word ALL THE TIME)(No, not because I’m constantly writing about Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 album, although that would be a good reason). Occasionally.

As a test, I just typed all those in. I had to correct the spelling on nine out of those ten, even though I knew, as I was typing, that these are words I frequently misspell. Ye gods.

What a fun experiment. For solidarity’s sake, here are some I frequently misspell: awkward, forward (which I also pronounce oddly. Best friends can attest to this)  conscious conscience, conscientious- most long ‘con’s really… fervour… there are bunches.
Why don’t you write about Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation more often?
Also- what are you most looking forward to about the reading on November 9th?

I blame Tyler Perry. Once Damita Jo acted in those bloated unwatchable melodramas, Rhythm Nation lost a bit of its luster for me. But perhaps I’m making excuses. I think twenty years (holy moly …) is more than enough time to let pass before I can hope in my mental Delorean and start writing about all those weird industrial music videos of that era.

Most looking forward to about the reading? Hanging out with you! C’mon, that was an easy one.


3 Responses to “Awful Interview: Michael Nye”

  1. Overhead Garage Doors Katy May 6, 2014 at 2:58 pm #

    I’m extremely inspired together with your writing abilities and also with the format on
    your weblog. Is this a paid topic or did you customize it your
    self? Either way stay up the excellent quality writing, it
    is uncommon to look a great blog like this one nowadays..


  1. I Am Not Damian Lewis | Michael Nye - November 12, 2012

    […] My Awful Interview with Laura is here. […]

  2. Laura Straub’s END O’ THE YEAR list « Vouched Books - December 21, 2012

    […] Interviews that still make me laugh big and large:  Joshua Ware, Michael Nye, Matt Bell, & Nicholas Tecosky (who still owes me an arm […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: