Awful Interview: J Bradley

22 Mar

If you are unlucky, J Bradley may tear you a part with a revenge poem. If you are lucky (and by luck I also mean ‘if-you-buy-his-new-chapbook‘) he will uplift you with one. J. Bradley is powerful that way. He is a force to be reckoned with.

His work has appeared in Metazen, Kill Author, decomP, Dogzplot, as well as many other places. He’s the Interviews Editor at PANK, the Falconer of Fiction at NAP, and a contributing writer to Specter MagazineHe hosts the reading series There Will Be Words in Orlando where he lives.

After meeting J. Bradley in person at AWP, but before having him come down and read at the next Vouched Atlanta Reading, J Bradley and I decided to get better acquainted via an Awful Interview. Things got wonderful and things got awkward. See for yourself!

You have a chapbook, We Will Celebrate Our Failures, out and about in the world right now. It says on your blog that you will write a poem for anyone who sends you proof that she bought the chapbook. How many poems have you written for that so far? How many would you like to? Will they be haiku?

I’ve written one so far. I’d love to write 124 more. Haiku is a bit weak though. I want to reward people who are nice/brave enough to buy this chapbook. Every poem I write will be a poem you (hopefully) are willing to share with someone or read to someone you hate. I can do some interesting things with three words (and while I’ve still got my clothes on).

Read to someone you hate, that’s interesting. Are you implying that bad poetry can be used as a form of torture?

It’s easy to torture people with bad poetry. It takes skill to tear someone apart with a well written poem. If you can make your enemy laugh as you shred their soul, it makes that spiritual ass kicking sweeter. Here’s such an example of kind of revenge poetry I speak of.

Well played Mr. Bradley! How cutting! You are the Count of Monte Cristo of poets. Do you have a giant chest of Spanish doubloons hidden somewhere? Where do you hide your treasure?

Sadly no doubloons here unless I want to name my cock ‘giant chest of Spanish doubloons’ this week then I can answer the second question with ‘in my pants’.

Are you implying that you give it a new name every week?

I try and keep the names relevant to what is going on in the world. One week, it was named the Academy because of the way it fucked Drive over for the Oscar nominations. Around Easter, I call it Jesus except it doesn’t take three days for it to come back to life.

Okay, I’m stumped. I cannot think of a witty rebuttal to your response. What do you think I should ask you next?

Perhaps one of the following:

who am I wearing?
where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
what will you do if this latest relationship fails?
who are you gay for in a sexy way?
who have you always wanted to interview?
what fictional bear would you bare knuckle box against?
how will you read something at this reading that isn’t sad bastardesque?

I’m an interview machine due to my stint at PANK. I’ll refrain from any Lionel Ritchie references for now.

So many wonderful choices! I’m going to do a mashup question of two that you have offered here: What fictional bear are you gay for in a sexy way?

One could offer the easy choice of Yogi as he is a provider or Pooh because he always knows where to find the honey but life is never about easy choices. I would have to say I would be gay for Ignatius J. Reilly. Sadly, our love would never work because he would refer to me constantly as a sodomite even though I’m more Gomorrahian.

Ignatius was quite the bear. Wait, what? …soo uhhh… anyway. Tell me about how excited you are to come to Atlanta on Friday, April 6th and read for us. What’s going to be the best part of the reading? Why do you think people should attend?

I am tremendously excited to read as part of this literary wrecking crew. It is incredibly rare outside of AWP to get such a talented, diverse lineup. It’s a one-in-a-lifetime line up (until AWP comes through Atlanta again). You’ll get drunk on the words and the beer and more of the words. Bring a date. I promise I won’t mack on them.

One Response to “Awful Interview: J Bradley”


  1. I’ve Been Making Money Off My Indifference « Failure Loves Company - March 23, 2012

    […] you to get to know me better through their infamous Awful Interviews, which you can check out here. Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Tagged Atlanta, Fast, flash fiction, Goat Farm, […]

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