Tag Archives: awful interview

Awful Interview: Joshua Ware

20 Jan

Josh Ware is mysterious. This is the last known likeness of him, it was created on June 3, 1983. He has a line of black hair, yellow skin, blue eyes, and one red lip which smiles. His feet start near his knees and he has abnormally large hands. He will be reading at the next Solar Anus reading series in Atlanta at the Beep Beep Gallery this Saturday, January 21st at 7:30 in the evening. He has a book Homage to Homage to Homage to Creeley from Furniture Press Books. If you abbreviate the title of his book it looks like this: H2H2H2C.

Tell me a bit about your sunglasses. Do you wear them often?

First, my apologies for the delayed start on this interview; I woke up late and then had to walk Olive. Anyway, as far as my sunglasses are concerned: well, I purchased my first-string pair at a sunglass kiosk in the Cherry Creek mall in Denver for $16 (Several times, in fact, as this particular brand cracks easily in the heat). That’s important to me because I break or lose sunglasses with great frequency, so I avoid pricey models. I also like my first-string pair because they have large lens and wide frames. My cranium is abnormally large, almost caricature-like, so a smaller pair would make my head look even larger (Gabe Bacon used to call me “Waretermelon” in high school because he thought my head was the size of a watermelon). Finally, the lens are polarized so everything looks more vibrant; it’s kind of like, when working with an image in a photo-editor, over-saturating the colors so it appears to be in technicolor. A technicolor world is much more enjoyable than a non-technicolored world; I find nothing redeeming about absolute realism. O, the other thing is that overhead, fluorescent lighting affects my eyes in a very negative way, so I need to wear them if a room is illuminated in that manner. My second-string pair of sunglasses are gold-rimmed, rectangular-shaped aviators. I purchased them at a Family Dollar in Lincoln, NE for $6 on a walk during the Spring of 2010. While they’re not good enough to be first-string pair (the lens are a bit too small) they come in handy when my first-string sunglasses are lost or broken. The thing is, the stems are so thin, I thought they would bend or break easily; instead, they’ve been surprising resilient. To answer the second part of this question, yes, I wear them often. Of course, I realize that people usually consider sunglass-wearers (especially when inside or at night) to be assholes; so, I’d just like to take this moment to say that I’m not an asshole.

 I feel as if I stumbled upon the perfect first question for you. You’re quite the sunglasses connoisseur. Have you ever considered freelancing as a sunglasses consultant? Sometimes I see people with sunglasses on and think they could have made a better eye-wear decision. You could really help with that.

Recently, I rescinded the final semester of my funding at University of Nebraska and moved back, at least temporarily, to Denver, which means that I have officially joined the ranks of the unemployed. Given my recent joblessness, I’d considered just about any form of employment. Freelance Sunglasses Consultant (FSC) sounds much better than Male Prostitute At A Truck Stop (MPTS); I mean, the chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease is much lower in the former of these professions than it is with the latter. Also, I could probably work from home as a FSC, whereas I’d be hanging out in a lot of dirty, interstate bathrooms as a MPTS. Sure there’s a certain charm associated with a truck stop bathroom (given all the zany graffiti on the backside of the stall door’s and whatnot), but there’s more downside to that profession than upside.

What other professions have you considered entering? Do you have any secret talents? For instance, can you juggle?

In a perfect world, I would be a two-guard or a small forward in the National Basketball Association with a skill-set modeled after former Cleveland Cavaliers swingman Ron Harper. Genetics, sadly, put a quick end to this career aspiration. I find this to be one of the great tragedies of my existence. While in Nebraska, I’d try to keep my skills sharp by playing hoops with some other poets, such as Trey Moody, in case an NBA franchise came calling. I’ve always been a strong defender, rebounder, and do well scoring in the post, but over the past few years I’ve also honed my mid-range jumper. If I could add a more accurate 3-point shot to my repertoire, I’m quite certain that I’d be unstoppable at any level of play, regardless of my height.

I think, perhaps, I also would have made a fantastic astronaut; I know this because I love space ice cream. As a child growing up in the Cleveland area, my grade school would often take us on field trips to the NASA Glenn Research Center. In the souvenir shop, small, air-tight bags filled with dehydrated, Neapolitan ice cream were sold; I’d purchase loads of those things and gobble them up, almost instantly. I think, for the most part, people hated it, claiming it tasted like cardboard; but the fact that I enjoyed them so thoroughly seemed to indicate to me that I was destined to be propelled into outer space on the top of a giant missile filled with rocket-fuel. This, of course, never happened either. Maybe writing poetry has been a way for me to deal with my failures as an astronaut and a professional basketball player.

As far as secret talents, I feel as though I excel at small talk; this isn’t so much a “secret” talent, but it’s a talent nonetheless. Far too many people discount the ability to talk to strangers, acquaintances, business contacts, etc. about mundane or inane subjects with no goal other than to fill awkward silences. Small talk, I believe, is the foundation of Western Civilization and should be honored as such. Why this has not yet happened is beyond me. Eventually, when small talk does take its rightful place in the pantheon of talents and skills praised in our society, people will finally understand that I can contribute something to our culture and the general well-being of humanity. Until then, I will slave away in obscurity.

With your skill set though, if you were to make enough small talk with people about small talk’s importance, don’t you think over time other people would make small talk about you and your small talks on small talk, and then eventually you would become 1. notoriously talented at small talk 2.small talk would gain importance and therefore maybe even 3. You could be a spokesperson for small talk. Like Jared Fogle for Subway?

Sorry for the time lapse; I had to swing by King Soopers to pick up some Airborne, Ricola, Hals Mentho-Lyptus, and firewood. I came down with a scratchy throat and nasal congestion the other day. Coupled with the always eventually fatal entitilitus I contracted from Ronnie Fucking Dobbs, the past 48 hours have been trying.

As for actively championing small talk for the sake of advancing both its stature and relevance, well, we’ll see what happens. As for Jared Fogle, I’ve never been a fan; although, I salute Subway for retaining Michael Phelps as a spokesperson after the whole bong-photograph scandal. It’s important that multinational corporations not shy away from hiring recreational drug users to appear in their advertisements and marketing campaigns. I mean, that’s an entire, mostly untapped demographic that ad agencies and marketing departments have neglected for decades. I have to believe that there have been innumerable late-night food runs to Subway by stoners of all-ages simply because Phelps appears in those commercials.

I agree, the Phelps endorsement + the $5 foot-long campaign have a really strong appeal to stoners, especially college kids. How big of a fan of Mr. Show are you, on a scale from 1-10? Have you watched The Increasingly Bad Decisions of Todd Margaret?

The first two seasons of Mr. Show are genius, and I don’t even believe in the concept of genius, which makes my assessment of those seasons all the more amazing. To that extent, on a scale of 1-10, I’d say I’m a 9.23 for the first half of that series’s run. Seasons three and four are solid, but not as spectacular as the first two; thus, for the second half of the series’s run, I’m a 7.18.

I’ve never seen The Increasingly Bad Decisions of Todd Margaret, but I do love Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, which Bob Odenkirk (I think) produced. Heidecker and Wareheim are so disturbingly funny, not to mention hyper-intelligent. Although, my favorite sketch from Tim and Eric is the Pussy Doodles sketch featuring David Cross. And, yes, Will Arnett (who, from a quick Internet search, appears to be the other lead in The Increasingly Bad Decisions) and Cross are brilliant in Arrested Development, particularly the second season.

What makes you not believe in ‘the concept of genius’?

“Genius” seems to be a self-aggrandizing concept that is a hold over from the Romantic period and employed today by those wholly insecure with the fact that any artistic creation is a confluence of influences and sources in perpetual relation with one another, manifesting themselves within an artwork. If anything, I like what Gertrude Stein said about “genius,” which is: “It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.” Maybe she meant that sincerely, but I’m hoping she was being ironic; no doubt, she thought herself a “genius,” though. A direct correlation, to my mind, exists between “nothing” and “genius,” in that the former is the definition of the latter. Of course, I don’t believe in science or Netflix either, so I could be wrong.

I met a girl in college who didn’t ‘believe’ in napkins. She had ranch dressing on her face. She wasn’t being ironic and it was a little disturbing.
Your disbelief in ‘genius’ is not disturbing.
Name five reasons people should come and hear you read on the 22nd.

Although I feel much shame that, it appears, I was just compared to a ranch-dressing-faced hippie you once knew, I will still answer your final question:

1. For starters, I’ll be reading with Jeff Alessandrelli. In addition to being a fantastic poet, Jeff has the rugged but casual good looks of a Hollywood star (similar to Tom Jane) that women and men alike swoon over. He may also wear a Biggie Smalls tee-shirt, which would be an added bonus.

2. Door prizes, such as macramé braclets and a ½ pound bag of cocoa nibs.

3. I’ll read all my work in an effected voice, much like that old recording of T.S. Eliot’s recital of Four Quartets.

4. There’s a good chance that either Jeff or I may “freak out”; you can interpret “freak out” in manner you’d like.

5. Glad handing, back slapping, and much ballyhoo will be had by all who attend.

Awful Interview: Amy Herschleb

25 Oct

Would you like to fall in love with Amy Herschleb a bit? She wrote in her poem Bathtime: “Things which burn and do not float include whisky and my heart.” It’s her statements like this that made me know she had to read at the next Vouched Presents. That, and the fact that she shares things. She shares her Canadian Club Whisky. She offered to share her hand-me-downs once (we were both a little drunk and warm-faced) and I was twitterpated. Most importantly, she shares her words. You should come hear them. She also shared her time with me, so we could conduct this awful interview:

Vouched: As a red-head, do you feel especially empowered by Autumn?

Amy: I saw a maple tree at the 57th Fighter Group the other day, green underneath and red from above & at the edges. I wanted to point at it and yell, “that’s me!” There was a good breeze coming off the airfield. I didn’t yell. I didn’t think the person I was with would’ve understood. And I was full of mimosas.

Vouched:  Were you drinking and flying?

Amy: No, that’s overrated. Unless we’re talking balanced on someone’s feet pretending to be the entire airplane with your arms out and getting your ribs bruised. But it’s hard to get a good flight like that, these days.

Vouched:  Those are hard to find these days, I used to fly around like that all the time! What  are some other things that are hard to find?

Amy: The exact right words when they really matter, the buttons that fell off my favorite jacket, the super-sneakiest back way to anywhere, and tigers.

Vouched:  Where is your favorite place to write? Also, what are your thoughts on hip-hop?

Amy:  I think porches might be the ideal places to write. The Platonic Porch. And Joe’s, which used to be my favorite top-secret writing destination until I started meeting people. Atlanta is the largest small town. You can’t hide. And as for hip-hop, I’d say we’re equally relevant to each other. I like to be fair.

Vouched:  I read somewhere that you intend to become ‘obnoxiously famous’. Is that still true? If so, what’s your five-year plan?

Amy: Hahaha… What about ‘notorious’? I think that would be a lot more fun. And I may be allergic to plans. Or just supremely incapable of making them

Vouched: ‘Notorious’ is much more suiting of you. Like the B.I.G.! In a recent interview you did with [the lovely] Melysa Martinez over at Kill Your Darlings you mentioned that you said that your poems can also function as a kind of blueprint. So, would you be comfortable in saying that writing is your plan?

Amy: I kind of intended a reverse blueprint, but not a map, either. More like a detailed diagram of what exists. An x-ray–can you x-ray buildings? With speculative areas. I really don’t anticipate myself. My approach to writing these days is a series of impromptu scribblings. And the only way to make a complete picture of it is through the accretion of these tiny fragments that just float around my life. Like when you get a bunch of duckweed together and all of a sudden it’s a green blanket on the water, keeping it warm, instead of confetti.

Vouched: That sounds incredibly magical. You’re somewhat new to Atlanta, yes? Has your transplant here influenced your writing at all? What are some things you’ve discovered about the Southeast that you love? Some things you’ve discovered that you don’t love?

Amy: Coming back to the South terrified me a little. There were things I took for granted about San Francisco and things I had romanticized about the South–chivalry, rocking chairs, seasons. When I first came back I wrote a long series of poems that were about submerging myself in this romance & rurality, of being the southern spinster, pine mulch, ‘possums killed by bobcats. And in Atlanta it was this layer of decay trapped between nostalgia and new growth, an urgency attached to rebuilding my life & work. Strata, or as AS Byatt puts it so beautifully, laminations. All of Atlanta constantly demolished & rebuilt and layers of paint & ruin & condos and that being at the same time the lens through which I work and live. Waves throwing themselves on the rocks are how I feel about Atlanta & writing.

Vouched: If Atlanta is waves throwing themselves at rocks, what is San Francisco to you?

Amy: A kingdom by the sea. My origin myth. A lover I took for granted and may now never return to… I like the melodrama of that one. San Francisco has moved on, but I’m always going to be wondering what would’ve been different had I been worthy of her.

Vouched: In a bar brawl, which Disney Princess would come out on top:  Cinderella, Jasmine, Pocahontas, or Sleeping Beauty? Why?

Amy: That’s a tough one… Pocahontas was kinda into non-violent protest and jumping off of things, Sleeping Beauty would probably be passed out under a table somewhere, and Cinderella would be preoccupied with curfew… I guess Jasmine. She at least seemed to have a sense of adventure. And has her hair tied up so it can’t just get ripped out, you know?

Vouched:  I bet Jasmine could really throw a punch. Is there anything you would like to say to entice Atlantans to come to our reading on the ninth?

Amy: Danger. Excitement. Tigers. Rain on the roof. Trompe l’oeil. Magicians. Chess. Cedar trees. And most importantly, nothing else is going to cure the ache.

Awful Interview: Patricia Henley

28 Sep

I feel I’m connected to Patricia Henley in so many ways: friends who’ve studied or worked with her at Purdue University, an editor friend who is publishing her collection of stories OTHER HEARTBREAKS which we’re celebrating the release of at next week’s Vouched Presents reading, even our work appearing in the same issue of Freight Stories. All that is to say I’ve yet to meet the illustrious Henley, and I can’t be more excited to have her as part of Vouched Presents: A Night of Book Releases next Tuesday!

I feel like I’ve heard your name so often in my circle of Indiana writer friends, especially those from Purdue who’ve studied under or work alongside you. They’re always super enthusiastic about you and your writing, so I’m really looking forward to meeting you and having you read at Vouched Presents, but something I’ve always wondered: what exactly is a “boilermaker”?

Do you want the smartaleck answer or the truth?

Smartaleck: A candymaker. You know — divinity and other boiled sweets like your grandmother used to make.

The Truth: Boilermaker refers to the townie football players who were recruited to play alongside the student palyers in olden times. They were working-class — guys who literally make boilers.

I’ll take them both! What kind of candy did your grandma make? I don’t remember mine making much candy, but she always had a bowl of those strawberry candies with wrappers that looked like strawberries.

My grandmother and my aunts from the old country (Eastern Europe) made divinity and fudge.

I’ve never heard of divinity. Or, I mean, not in candy form. What is that?

Divinity is a white, sugary, boiled candy. You boil up sugar and water to a certain temp. Vanilla goes in, to0, I think. Somehow it becomes thick and you drop the mix into little circles with peaks on them on waxed paper. Does that make sense?

Check it out.

Those are so strange/interesting looking. What’s the texture like? It looks really soft, but if it’s just boiled simple syrup, it seems like it’d be a hard candy? I have all these questions. I should probably just find a candy shop here in town that sells them.

Sort of a thin, hard crust on the outside and soft with a texture onnthe inside. Why not just make some?!

I suppose I could do that. It doesn’t seem too hard, though I don’t have a candy thermometer.

Before we run out of word count, I do want to say hey, you have a new book coming out on Engine Books. Tell us about that.

OTHER HEARTBREAKS is a collection of stories I’ve written over the last seven years or so. I wrote them while writing a play, traveling, moving, teaching, and having the flu. Under duress, I would say. Writing them helped me stay centered. Three of the stories are linked and set in Pilsen, a Latino neighborhood in Chicago. One hundred years ago it was the port of entry for immigrants from Eastern Europe and I like to think that some of my Czech relatives probably lived there.

Oh, I love Pilsen. My buddy Tadd (whom I believe studied under you at Purdue) lived there for a spell, and we spent an evening at a local Pilsen dive. I appreciate stories written under duress, and the cover looks beautiful.

Would you like to say anything else to people thinking about coming out to see you read at Vouched Presents next week?

I am thrilled to be sharing the stage with Martone — longtime pal from here and Alabama and my son’s thesis advisor when he was a student at UA — and Jill who once gave a party for me when I read at Alabama and Mark. I used to visit my great-uncle and his wife when they lived in Fountain Square in the 1960′s so all of these elements combined make it seem like old home week. I predict good fun for all. Or as I said on my FB page — you’d have to be dead or in jail to miss it.

Awful Interview: Molly Brodak

15 Sep

Molly Brodak may or may not be a unicorn. Okay, okay…Molly Brodak is a unicorn. She lives off of ice-cream and marshmallows and she walks the earth only where the sunshines. You can tell where she’s been by the glitter and dew drops (sometimes those are one in the same). In case you didn’t get the memo earlier, (which should have arrived on the very best Lisa Frank stationery) Molly also happens to be a poet (because unicorns and poets really are one in the same). She will be reading her poetry at our next Vouched Presents reading here in Atlanta on the 19th. Don’t you want to come listen to a real-life unicorn read her poetry?

So, Molly. Have you ever noticed that you bear a stunning resemblance to Amalthea aka: The Last Unicorn from the 1989 movie The Last Unicorn (when she’s a human)? Which leads me to my next question, are you a unicorn?

Oh man! That is one of my favorite movies of all time. I can recite a lot of it if you’d like and sing for you the Last Unicorn song either as America or Kenny Loggins. I’m pretty sure it came out in ‘82 though–was putting the wrong date a test? You’ll have to do better. And to answer your question, yes, of course.

Wow! A real life unicorn! Do you live off of marshmallows? ‘82 makes much more sense, I was relying too heavily on imdb.com. You ‘re the star of the movie, so you probably remember better than I do. How does being a unicorn influence your writing? 

Marshmallows and ice cream. Um writing poems is a job requirement for unicorns. Like cobbling for cobblers. It’s nice to not have to worry about making “sense” or being “happy” with my poems or “surviving” off of them.

Where do you find your inspiration? Also, what happened with Noah’s Arc? That was pretty cut-throat of Noah. Do you still hold a grudge?

I find inspiration in learning about things. I read a lot of natural science, astronomy, history, biology, linguistics, and other random science writing. I just finished reading about John Snow who was the first to learn how to control the process of etherization by testing it on himself. He sat at his desk and inhaled ether or chloroform, passed out for a few minutes, then woke up and wrote about it. Out of his kitchen he built a controlled vaporizer in 1847, basically the same thing anesthesiologists use today, when three months before the very concept of etherization didn’t even exist. He also helped cure the biggest cholera outbreak in London by thinking about it more and in different ways than anyone else. Noah’s Arc is what the unicorns named Noah’s lightless eternal sphere, which is curvilinear and sort of cramped as a punishment for not letting us on Noah’s Ark, which we didn’t need anyway because we are ttly immortal.

Have your studies ever led you to consider taking up Alchemy? If so have you had any success with that? BTW that book sounds awesome. 

Everything is already Alchemy.

Does that mean that everything is gold? 

Well it wants to be. I mean that’s the thing about Alchemy–it doesn’t work.

What does work? Also, where is your favorite place to write? 

Gravity, antibiotics, nonstick foil, cruise control, antioxidants, Resolve© Stain Stick,  Sennelier Masking Fluid, eggs, smiling. My favorite place to write I guess is in bed at night, or sometimes in the car.

You just recently moved to Atlanta, whats your impression of our fair city? Favorite places? Least favorite places? 

 Honestly, it’s very wonderful. I keep expecting a giant sink hole to open beneath me because I can’t possibly be this pleased with life. I haven’t been around too much yet, but so far I really like the High Museum of Art and the post office near my building, which is also near a gelato place I’m not mad at. So far I have not liked the Emory University Hospital Emergency Room nor the sad dirty dumpster alley behind my apartment building where four heartbreakingly sad kittens live.

If you could say any thing to peer pressure/enchant someone into attending our reading on the 19th of September, what would you say? 

I would remind them that a unicorn dies every time a person chooses to stay in and watch tv or sleep instead of going to a poetry reading.

Whoa. Shit just got so real. 

Awful Interview: Cristina Martin

13 Sep

Along with being the Editor n’ Chief over at Loose Change Magazine, Cristina Martin is an authority on breakfast food, which is one of the many reasons I like her so much. Some of the other reasons I like her so much include (but are not limited to): 1. Her overall cheerful disposition 2. Her spontaneity 3. Her Sweet dance moves 4. Her love and tolerance of my lists. She’ll be reading for us on Monday, September 19th at the next Atlanta Edition of the Vouched Presents series. If you’re lucky, she’ll also be dancing.

Let’s get straight to the good stuff. Why do you wake up in the morning?

On the weekdays, because my alarm clock tells me I have to.  On the weekends, its for b-b-b-brunch!

Ooh! Breakfast food tugs at my heart-strings. What’s your ideal breakfast? Does having a good breakfast help your writing?

My absolute favorite breakfast is one that my dad makes for me every time I am home: Fried eggs cooked in bacon fat served with a couple of slices of buttered toast, and, of course, a couple slices of not too crispy pork strips.  With some fresh squeezed orange juice and a warm cup of coffee on the side I am in complete bliss.   I don’t know if it helps my writing, but man, it makes this lady pretty happy.

That sounds delicious! Have you ever tried writing a poem about breakfast?

Oh no, I haven’t…yet? Should I try now?

Oooh! The Awful Interview’s Debut Impromptu Poem. Let’s go for it!

Errr…um…okay lets see…

oh bacon, my bacon

you dip into the yolk

like a spear into the sun

and in the salty

slight crisp of it all

my little heart screams YUM!

BAM! Breakfast poem managed.  I can cross that off my bucket list now.

*Clapping for you* That was great! What kind of music do you listen to when you write?

It really depends on what I am trying to write about.  Something based in a bit of the magical or mysterious, I’ll reach for Cocorosie or the instrumentations of Carlos Nunez.  If there is a tinge of unrequited love, then maybe I’ll put on my Fionn Regan Pandora station or the songs of Patsy Cline.  Old school recordings of hymns set up good for nostalgia.   And then sometimes I’m just down right obsessive with the same song over and over and over again.  I have been listening to St. Vincent’s “Cruel”  this whole week like its my freakin’ job. But I’ve always got some jams playing for sure, if only for the needed dance party break from the writing (bachata beats and Otis Redding to boot!)

Wait, do you really get up from writing for dance breaks? Do you have mad moves?

Oh, I’ve got crazy mad moves.  Its hard for me to sit in one place for a long period of time, so yes, if the speakers start telling me to “Try a little tenderness..” then I tend to use it as an excuse to get up and shake a little tail feather, get some new energy flowing.  But don’t worry, if I am in public the most I do is some shoulder sways back and forth.

Have you been known to interrupt yourself mid-reading  to start dancing? If not, would you like to become known for that, say… on September 19th?

Hmmmm…I don’t know.  You’re just going to have to come to the reading to find out…

Could you write one more impromptu poem about why people should attend our reading, or does lighting not strike the same interview twice?

Vouched, when you look at me like that, how can I say no? Okay…here goes….

You’ve got to get back to the farm,

to the once ruins of buildings,

and goats that will lick the honey

from your finger tips.

You’ve got to get back to the farm

so we darlings can stand on that wood plank stage,

pour our hearts over the newly planted dirt,

pretend we know nothing of sidewalks and streetlights.

There’s just the barn and the breeze

and those lovely little words we want to give you all.

Hows that for off-the-cuff?

Awful Interview: Tom Cheshire

18 Aug
Tom Cheshire has pockets lined with his own words. That’s pretty nice, isn’t it? If only all of our pockets could be so lucky. He finds dogs more inspirational than cats. You can find him in and around Atlanta, writing on pizza boxes and napkins. He is surrounded by words, smiles, and good beer. His first chapbook , Just A Little Piece of Heartburn, is coming out from Safety Third Enterprises this week. To celebrate PURGEATL and Safety Third Enterprises are hosting a reading at Youngblood Gallery this Sunday, August 21st at 6:30pm. While you are there you should buy him a Stella. Preferably of the canned persuasion. I’m going to.
So Tom, your last name is Cheshire, like the cat. Would you say that correlation has influenced your life or work in any way?

I was called The Cheshire Cat for a minute when I was a kid. I was always smiling and laughing and had I guess you could say, a Cheshire Grin. Then people started calling me Tom Cat. I’m just glad my middle name isn’t Alley.

It hasn’t influenced me in any way though. I think I’ve looked to dogs more for inspiration.

How have dogs inspired you? Do you have any dogs? If so, what kind?

I think I’ve always wanted the life of a dog. I like to lay around and I enjoy when people pet me. I had a poodle named “Muffin” when I was a boy but she had an annoying bark. I used to walk by all of the gas station dogs in my neighborhood in Queens and just feel bad for them because they weren’t getting  the proper love and attention that they deserved. They had grease and oil all over them and they always looked lost and hungry.

I don’t have a dog right now because I am never home and that just wouldn’t be fair. I see myself getting a dog when I am older. I will either get a BIG ONE or a small one, a Shepherd or a Pug.

Your chapbook will be printed in your handwriting, and features a couple pages with ‘water stains’ on them. Where do you write your poetry and on what kind of surface? I hope you keep a lot of bar napkins with poems in your pockets.

I do keep a lot of bar napkins and random pieces of paper in my pocket. The last poem in the book is called “PANTS POCKET” and it pretty much sums it all up. You see someone that you once shared a life with. They walk away. You want to laugh, you want to cry, so why not go write something pretty down. We go through all kinds of emotions through out the day so why not document them on whatever you have near you. Inspiration struck me once and I wrote a song on a pizza box.

I write sitting down in bars. I write laying down in bed late at night. I write sitting on a park bench. I write in the shower and I write when I am riding my bicycle.

So basically I write things down, poems, short stories and songs on pieces of tissue and cardboard and just stuff them in my pants.

I’m guessing you didn’t keep the pizza box in your pocket. That would make it difficult to walk around. How do you decide how to order all of these rag-tag poems? Also, have you ever lost a poem? I lose a lot of things that I keep in my pockets.

I folded the pizza box up and put it under my hat. I couldn’t let that one get away. I really don’t know how I decide to put these groups of words in order, I think they kind of just, fall in place. You write them, you read them, you put them away for a minute, then you read them again. Then they just appear in the order they should be.

I have been pretty fortunate with keeping paper in my pocket. I don’t think I have lost too many. When I moved last year, I realized I had 9 boxes of just random thoughts and writings on the strangest pieces of paper.

What’s your favorite kind of beer?

I drink Stella to put me in a good mood. It is like Manna from Heaven. That is my first choice always. When I am low on cash, a Tecate with salt and lime, will do.

Have you had Stella in a can yet? It’s amazing.

No, where can you get it? I can’t wait to try it.

I get them at Green’s, they are sold in ten-packs. It is somehow even more delicious in a can.
Are you excited for your reading? Have you been practicing? What is your reading persona like?

I will be going to Green’s later. Thank you much, for the tip.

I am very excited for the reading. I have practiced reading the poems aloud in front of the mirror twice and that is it. I am done. I will do a run through of the poems the morning of.  

I don’t know if I have a style or persona. I like the idea of the the poems coming across as songs that tell stories. There are some that I will speak and some that I will sing.  

It’s going to be a really great event. Is there anything you would like to say to anyone who is considering going but is too wimpy to commit to it?

For those of you who don’t like poetry readings there will be music and for those of you who don’t like music there will be reading. It will be a really special night in a room full of joy and celebration. There will be something there for everyone. I don’t take myself too seriously and want to have a good time with this. And I want everyone there to have a great night and be part of the event. I am very proud of this book and think it would look good on any coffee table in the world.

I would also like to sincerely thank Matt at Safety Third Enterprises and Tim with Purge ATL for believing in me and this project. It took a lot of hands to make this possible. It takes team work to make a dream work baby. I want to thank Brian Manley and Fun With Robots, Marlow Sanchez for recording  the audio, the lovely ladies at Young Blood for hosting and you kind folks at Vouched Books.

It’s going to be a great night. Bring it. Cheers.

Awful Interview: Ben Spivey

20 Jul
Ben Spivey and Snake Plissken have a lot in common. They both have a way with words. Neither of them grew up wanting to be a rainbow. Both of them could beat up approximately 25 ten year-olds at once. Ben wrote a book, Flowing in the Gossamer Fold, which is a release from Blue Square Press.
Unfortunately Snake Plissken is not reading at the VouchedATL launch reading this Sunday. Fortunately, Ben Spivey is.
So Ben, your first book, Flowing in the Gossamer Fold, is centered around a motivational speaker. Was becoming a motivational speaker ever an ambition of yours? I once had a friend who wanted to be a rainbow when she grew up.
When I was a bit younger I wanted to be a sort of motivational speaker. It was a phase that came and went. I did a few things with it and people but never felt like it lasted. That brief ambition to motivate, however, was inspiration for the character in Flowing, but I see that now only as an afterthought if anything at all. He (Malcolm) is humiliated while he’s doing his job and maybe I felt that way, too, but it was a long time ago and reflecting on it now is no longer like looking into a mirror. Your friend wanted to be a beautiful thing, one must stretch.

 How do you get yourself motivated to write? What Inspires you? 
 I am motivated and inspired when I read. I often jot things down throughout the day and I return to them when I’m writing–which usually occurs in the morning before the rest of my day starts. It’s important to set aside the time you need. The little jots are a moment of inspiration, a single word, a sentence, sometimes a paragraph.  
 How many ten year-olds do you think you could beat up at once?

15 or 20.

I would have pegged you for 25, but it’s good that you’re modest. Have you ever been in a fight?

25? Thanks. I’ve never been in a fight that I would count as a fight.  

So you’ve been in fights you wouldn’t count as a fight?

I’ve only fought with friends, people I know, never a stranger. Nothing like “Big Trouble in Little China.”   

They just don’t make villains like Lo-Pan anymore, or truck drivers like Jack Burton. Would you consider Kurt Russell to be a personal hero of yours?

 If I consider Snake Plissken a personal hero does that count?

 Absolutely.

Good. I also like “The Thing.” But who doesn’t? I think most people do.

I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t seen The Thing, which is incredibly lame. I love all things John Carpenter/Kurt Russell related. If you could sum up “The Thing” in a small paragraph, how would you?

 A small team of researchers in Antarctica (who are isolated) become paranoid after a parasitic alien begins to infect them one at a time. When a person becomes infected it allows the alien to morph into an image of the person it infected which causes the researchers to never quite know who the alien is. So there’s a lot of quarantining and a lot of fire and snow.  

 Sounds really intense, especially with Kurt Russell involved. You’re probably right about most people liking that. What do you think Snake Plissken would have to say about our reading this Sunday?

Snake Plissken wouldn’t give a f@ç#.

That’s probably true. What would you say in response to him, since the reading is going to be so awesome?I would make sure he knows that there will be beer. He looks like he enjoys beer. And then all I could hope for is that he’d stand near the front chain-smoking American Spirits.

Awful Interview: James Tadd Adcox

13 Jul

James Tadd Adcox is an authority figure. He once punched a t-rex in the jaw. He’s the editor n’ chief of Artifice. He writes good words that  you can read all over the place, which is how you may have heard of him. On Sunday, July 24th he’ll be reading at this little shindig known as the VouchedATL launch reading.

This is my first ‘awful interview’, you should know that. So I’m going to pull out my ace in the hole first if that’s okay with you: If you were a candy bar, James Tadd Adcox, what kind of candy bar would you be, and why?

What’s that candy bar that Steve Almond is searching for in Candy Freak? The candy bar that he remembers from his childhood, that he had like once? That may or may not exist? A Maravell? Something like that? A ghost candy bar. A candy bar marked by its own absence.
That or whatever candy bar Ghostface would be most likely to promote.

I think it was a Caravelle that Steve Almond was looking for. You mean Ghostface from Scream, right? Not Ghostface Killah?

Hm. If it’s an option, I’d like to say that I mean both.

Would you ever consider ghostwriting Ghostface Killah’s autobiography? What if Ghostface Killah turned out to be Ghostface? That would be so meta.

For my birthday a couple years back a friend of mine gave me The World According to Pretty Tony, written by Ghostface Killah. I’ve read it a couple of times. It had some pretty good advice in it, about like how you need to eat properly if you’re going to keep hustling and also some things that you can eat that would enable you to keep hustling. It also pointed out at one point that cocaine will make you shit, which I didn’t realize. There was a CD that came with it that was basically just Ghostface Killah reading the book, which is pretty nice if you want to look at the pictures and have Ghostface read to you.

I didn’t realize he had written a book! That sounds absolutely lovely. What other kinds of books inspire you? Also, would you say his advice about cocaine directly influenced your work in any way?

He said some stuff about not effing up Mother Earth that I think I’m still working through, like conceptually speaking, I guess. As far as other books go, I’ve found that when I’m working on a project, I like to go to the Harold Washington Library, which is the big one downtown, and check out more nonfiction books about the subject I’m writing about than I could ever possibly read, at least before the due date, and just kind of gorge myself on them. I think of it as stuffing myself, overeating. I end up with all of these random scenes and bits of dialogue on the scraps of paper I’ve been using as bookmarks.
When I’m reading fiction I really like dead Russians and Germans and dead or dying Americans. In the last category I particularly like the postmodernists or experimentalists or whatever you want to call them from the sixties & seventies. I keep going back to Donald Barthelme. And then it took me a really long time to get around to reading David Foster Wallace, and I kind of thought that I was going to be “meh” when I did, but I ended up really loving him. The Incandeza filmography in Infinite Jest is one of the most fun things I’ve read in a while.

Would you like to say anything to people who think that our reading on the 24th may just be “meh”?

There’s that one .gif animation that was a meme for a while, of a little rolly cartoon guy striding down the street, exuding confidence in said stride, and the words “Haters gonna hate” in a little thought bubble coming out of his head. That. Not just the “haters gonna hate” part, the whole animated .gif. Like, if I could learn the underlying 0’s and 1’s that made that .gif up, and just spout them off at someone. That’s what I’d say.

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